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Portrait of a Demolition

by Shane Murphy

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1.
By one of several psychics it's suggested I weigh my pockets with citrine, I find a muse in sincerity, I give myself to good anarchy. Then in a small town or no town at all, it seems right to light, it seems right to settle down, and find the news in stars, or no stars at all-- to bed not too late; to bed while the fire waits to warm the curious meanderings of a mind at rest, a hand clutched like a knife. Love won't end me like it does a song.
2.
Fingers doused with rosemary oil, cloth on the Singer sewing machine where oh, starved artist, you mend. The fly-wheel moves like a moon; the treadle: the pulse in a womb; your eyes the black of a deer's; my song unjust. The miles you rock with your feet, your hands arthritic and weak... Your words are salve when you speak, but words alone I can't trust.
3.
You hold me like a stanchion, mid Atlantic. I hide you like a slip-stitch in my overcoat. You hold me like a stanchion, mid Atlantic. The love I send is stronger than the love in your parents' house. So, I need not mend my love, Dear Town Mouse, Love, Country Mouse High above the ridge, the soft cannon clouds move to fire. I am the weathervane horse: eyes on all points but this spire.
4.
Goodbye, fears; hello, daylight: there's a slight chance you'll find a clear sky today. It's okay to cry aloud, Rose, if love means more veiled than displayed. There is only sky here. Be not a tortured heart beating just to pass the time.
5.
Allow me to sort through these little pieces of a tapestry I was weaving for you. Warmed with fallen leaves-- as a hobo with headlines--the earth whispers, "ease into me, like death." Am I home yet? Your harsh geography-- your terrain another scripture I won't read, though it looms like death. Am I home yet?
6.
Recovery 02:46
Against a brick wall of the methadone clinic, I found you: sprawled in your shadow, your chin shining with spit, afraid each open hand would clench into a fist. The others were in the square, sated with being, but not alone. I offered my hand. You peered into my palm like a zoo-goat, expecting a ration of kindness, maybe a few corn nuts, sunflower seeds, coins, a cigarette, and were confused--as, in turn, am I-- by its emptiness.
7.
Again today do you notice yourselves Deconstructing beauty The skull of a Georgian Home is made splinters and rubble What of my ribcage Which cradles your wrecking ball What of the ripe-lime grass Burdened with dust And the hearty thistle Thriving chest-high Its spiny marina of fuchsia rafts Bound to take off I have no raft but I have Constructed you a verse Small fingers in passing go swimming In a birdbath of quicklime The courier steps on a barrow of debris And it squirms like a cat
8.
9.
Bathtub Mary 05:03
Well out of town & over the border, we'll stop for coffee & a taste of the news, where a papier-mache Jesus lies naked, in a plexiglass casket, on a strip-mall avenue. I was raised in a land of Bathtub Marys --those holy lawn jockeys worth a prayer in passing-- planted like a hedge, with a porcelain aura--a spectacle of cleanliness everlasting. I, though faithless as the next, admire the hearts that faith brings close, and the cathedrals raised for nothing but a faith in the unknown.
10.
Halos 03:17
From the shadow on the water, I see nothing, I feel nothing, I am blinded by a false sense of shelter. The hail parades for nothing. I hail nothing. The seedlings died before I tamped the soil, before I knew the roots of the future. And halos crash down from angels. May lunar halos light at least the night. From the storm you drag me, sodden, pale, with words for nothing. I am a trestle braced against the dead weight of conversation: though I'm tired, I listen.
11.
Musty River 03:58
Musty river I will take the spackle of your kiss on every sore In the eyes it shall sting most Observer on a slick rock in January I sever myself from whomever in her cold grace commands the nod the crinkle this white brain of ice floes upending me in the shallows of sleep I see the mother writhe in childbirth too weak to smooth the gnarled sheet that fastens her to bed Musty river I will dredge your belly of toxins I will drink them in
12.

credits

released December 12, 2011

Mastered and Produced by Joe Phillips for WildCat Records (www.wildcatrecords.com)

Cover painting: Kira LaRose (concordiadiscors.weebly.com/paintings.html)

Vocals on "Musty River": DawnMarie Allan

"i am a little church" is a poem by e.e. cummings.
"The Lake Isle of Innisfree" is a poem by W.B. Yeats.

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Shane Murphy Poughkeepsie, New York

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